Why Your Routines Are Failing—And How These 3 Routines Will Save You

You’re making routines way harder than they need to be. If you’re a mom trying to juggle it all, you know how important routines are. You’ve read the blog posts, seen the Instagram reels, and maybe even tried to put a few routines into place yourself. But somehow, they don’t stick. The mornings are still chaotic, the afternoons feel overwhelming, and by the time bedtime rolls around, you’re just exhausted, wondering why routines feel so much harder than they should.

Here’s the truth: creating routines isn’t just about writing down a schedule or following someone else’s checklist. Routines are a system, and when you don’t have the right approach, they can feel frustrating and impossible to maintain. But don’t worry—I’m going to walk you through exactly what you need to build routines that actually work for your family.

In this article, I'm going to share with you the three most important routines in our home right now. These routines help us get things done, save us time, and make our home run more smoothly. Be sure to stick around to the end of the article for the most important of these three routines—it might surprise you!

The 3 Routines That Parents Really Need

Routine #1: Morning Routine

The first routine that you can start today to make a huge difference in your day is the morning routine. Mornings set the tone for the entire day. But too often, they start with stress—scrambling to get the kids ready, searching for missing shoes, dealing with meltdowns, and rushing out the door feeling frazzled.

In our home, we use a divide and conquer approach to get everything done, get the kids ready, and get out the door on time. Jon unloads the dishwasher while I get ready, and then I get the kids up, make breakfast, and pack lunches while he gets ready. He’s back out in the kitchen by a specific time to help the kids finish getting ready, so I can change into my work clothes and get shoes on, and then he loads the car while I get the kids out the door. It is a team effort. We have pre-set responsibilities that we do at specific times to make it all work. Of course we deal with meltdowns and unexpected requests from the kids almost every day, but we build in extra time to help prevent those things from completely derailing us.

A good morning routine is simple, predictable, and designed to create calm rather than chaos.

Here’s what it should include:

• A consistent wake-up time (for both parents and kids)
• A structured but flexible order of events (eating breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, getting shoes on, loading the car)
• Buffer Time for unexpected delays

By setting up a clear routine that’s realistic and repeatable, mornings become smoother, and you start the day feeling in control instead of overwhelmed. 

Routine #2: Evening/Bedtime Routine

The second routine we prioritize in our home is the evening routine. The evening routine is one of the most critical parts of the day. It’s not just about getting kids to bed on time—it’s about winding down in a way that promotes rest and time together as a family.

In our home, we typically start the evening routine after dinner and some play time. We shift gears with cleaning up the house and try to make it fun for the kids by trying to beat a timer, playing fun music, or “surprising” the other parent with a cleaned up house. I’ll say that sometimes we have to skip cleaning up for the sake of time, but we always feel better when the house is picked up before the evening routine. After cleaning up, the kids usually take a bath, get pajamas on, brush their teeth, and go to the bathroom. We divide and conquer, so usually Jon is working on dinner cleanup and dishes while I’m helping the kids. Once they’re ready for bed, we read a book, do a family hug, and then put the kids to bed.

An effective evening routine should include:

• An approximate dinner time and a system for cleanup
• Family time such as reading, talking about the day, or playing a game
• A structured bedtime process like bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, story, and lights out
• A consistent bedtime that allows for enough sleep

When evenings are predictable and peaceful, kids sleep better, parents feel more in control, and everyone wakes up ready for a new day.

Routine #3: After School / Work Routine

Now let’s talk about the third, but maybe the most critical routine that’s going to make the biggest difference for you. The “afternoon” routine or “after school and work” routine. This time of the day can be so hard. Everyone is tired, asking when dinner’s going to be ready, and it can be so tempting to just sit on the couch and take a well-deserved break. But, this is also the time that some of the most critical tasks get done to set your other routines up for success. As tempting as it is, don’t skip this one!

In our home, when we get home from work and school, we unload the car and let the kids have some unstructured time to play while I get some things done. We used to do a snack and TV time while I unloaded the car and got some things done around the house. But recently we decided to cut out the weeknight TV time after I realized it was actually making our evenings harder. So now the kids have a snack in the car, and when we get home, they go right to playing. If we get home early enough, I try to do something with them like a bike ride or taking the dog for a walk. When that’s over, they play independently while I get to work on my afternoon non-negotiables.

While they play, I put away their school bags and lunch boxes, make lunches for the next day, get dinner started, and try to start the dishes. I get interrupted a lot and that’s ok. There’s a lot of pausing to help with bathroom trips, correcting behavior, answering questions, or listening to stories. That’s ok. Motherhood is a juggling act. Sometimes I need to take a moment just to be present with whichever kid needs me right then, and other times I can get right back to what I was doing. Either way, the kids know that this time of the day is when I need to do a few things to make dinner and get things ready for the next day.

A well-structured after work routine helps ensure that the transition from day to evening is smooth and that your next day is set up for success. This could include:

• A structured after-school arrival process, with snack, playtime, homework or quiet time
• A system for managing activities and responsibilities or chores
• A plan for dinner prep without the last-minute stress
• Non-negotiables that anchor the routine around what needs to get done during this routine

When you have a predictable routine in place, you won’t feel like you’re constantly chasing the day, and your kids will know what to expect, making them more cooperative and independent.

All three of these routines are important pieces of your day that help you get everything done so you can breathe, spend time with your kids, and enjoy motherhood.

—Jessica