Build Routines That Stick & Help Your Family THRIVE

Does your day ever feel like complete chaos? You wake up with good intentions, but before you know it, the house is a mess, everyone is hungry, and you’re running late... again? You’re not alone! But what if I told you that a solid routine could transform that chaos into a sense of calm and balance, helping you feel more in control and present for your family every day. Today I’m going to show you step by step how to create a realistic routine that actually sticks – and helps your family thrive!

Step 1: Identify Your Family’s Needs

The first step to creating a routine that works is understanding what your family truly needs. Every family is different, so take a few minutes to write down the biggest struggles in your day. Do mornings feel rushed? Is dinnertime stressful? Are you always forgetting something? Identifying these problem areas will help you create a routine that solves real issues.

Think about the specific challenges that come up most often. Maybe it’s getting the kids to put on their shoes without a meltdown, or having everyone eat breakfast together without distractions. Once you identify the major pain points, you can start creating solutions that will work for your household.

Also, consider each family member’s individual needs. For example: If you have a toddler who goes to bed earlier, and an older child who stays up a bit later, you will need to keep that in mind when creating a new bedtime routine. Understanding these nuances will help you shape a routine that accommodates everyone.

Step 2: Map Out An Ideal Day

Next, map out what an ideal day would look like. Don’t worry—it doesn’t have to be perfect! If you work outside the home, think about things like when you need to get your kids up, when you need to be out the door, and how much time you need to load the car. If you work from home or stay home with your kids, think about when your kids naturally wake up, when meals and naps happen, and where you can add time for play, learning, and even some time for yourself! Having a general framework for an ideal day helps you see which parts of your day could benefit most from a routine.

Break your day into manageable chunks. Mornings might include waking up, breakfast, getting dressed, and maybe some play-time before heading out. Afternoons could involve naps, quiet time, and an outing or structured activity. Evenings should prioritize winding down, dinner, bath time, and a bedtime routine. Whatever works for your situation and stage of life.

It’s also important to make sure there’s a balance of structured and unstructured time. Having predictable moments throughout the day, such as meals and bedtime, helps kids feel secure, but they also need some unstructured time to develop independence and creativity.

Step 3: Start Small & Build Habits

The key to making a routine stick is to start small. Instead of overhauling your whole day at once, focus on one or two small changes at a time. Maybe it’s a 10-minute clean-up before dinner time, or a morning routine with a simple checklist for the kids. Once those habits feel natural, you can add more structure step by step!

For example, if bedtime is always chaotic, begin with a simple routine that includes everything they need to do before bed in a consistent order. In our home, after dinner we clean up, take a bath, put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a book, use the bathroom one more time, and then do snuggles, songs, and bedtime. Because we do this same routine in the same order every night, our kids know what to expect and bedtime goes a lot more smoothly.

Another tip is to model the behavior that you want to see. If you want your child to put their shoes away as part of a routine, show them by doing it yourself. Kids learn best through observation and repetition. If you can find a way to make it fun for the kids, even better!

Step 4: Make It Visual & Kid-Friendly

Kids thrive on visual cues! Try using a simple chart with pictures for their morning and bedtime routines. This helps kids know what to expect and gives them a sense of independence.

Make the chart engaging by using colorful images and involving your kids in its creation. Let them help choose stickers or markers to check off completed tasks. The more invested they feel, the more likely they are to stick with the routine.

Another great strategy is using timers. If your little one struggles with transitions, setting a timer for five minutes before a change in activity can give them a gentle heads-up and reduce resistance. We do this a lot in our home and it works really well! I set a lot of two minute timers.

You can also use fun incentives to keep motivation high. Maybe they get to pick the bedtime story if they complete their routine, or they earn a small reward after a week of following their schedule.

Step 5: Build Flexibility Into Your Routine

Life with little ones is unpredictable, so your routine should be flexible, not rigid. Some days won’t go as planned—and that’s ok! The goal is progress, not perfection. Give yourself grace, adjust as needed, and keep the big picture in mind.

For example, if an unexpected errand comes up and disrupts your usual schedule, you can just move things around and return to your normal routine the next day. Routines should support you, not stress you out!

It’s also important to remember that routines are going to evolve as your kids grow. What works for a toddler might not work for a preschooler, so be open to adjusting as needed.

Step 6: Involve The Whole Family

A routine works best when everyone is on board. Make sure your spouse and older children understand the new structure and encourage teamwork. Even young kids can take responsibility for small tasks like setting the table or putting toys away.

Hold a short family meeting to introduce any new changes. Keep it lighthearted and explain that routines are a way to make life easier for everyone. Encourage feedback and be willing to adjust things as needed.

It’s also helpful to assign small responsibilities to each family member. Maybe your preschooler can help clear their plate after meals, and your spouse can oversee part of the bedtime routine. Working together builds cooperation and helps instill good habits for your little ones.

Step 7: Celebrate Wins & Stay Consistent

Building a lasting routine takes time, so be patient and celebrate wins along the way. If your child follows the bedtime checklist for a whole week, acknowledge their effort with praise or a fun reward.

Consistency is key, but that doesn’t mean perfection. If you don’t follow your routine for a day or two, simply get back on track, and don’t feel guilty about it. Over time, routines become second nature, making your days run smoother and more enjoyable.

Also, don’t forget to celebrate yourself! Creating a routine and keeping it going is no small feat, so give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made. Maybe that means treating yourself to a quiet cup of coffee or a relaxing bath after the kids go to bed.

Final Thoughts

Routines aren’t about creating a ‘perfect’ life—they’re about making things EASIER so you can enjoy more of the moments that matter. Start with small changes, be consistent, and most importantly, make it work for your family!

—Jessica